The scent of the apocalypse

We’ve all been there. Squeezed up against the window in some public transport or other, jammed solidly in place, no possible means of dignified escape. It’s not the physical restraint that is the main issue, more a matter of olfactory lockdown, if you get my drift. We’re talking about the terror of a woman of advanced age (and no, I’m not being sexist or ageist, I am 100% certain there is solid research to prove my point) drenched in perfume. The sort of perfume that is truly ripe and rich of odorous delights.

And that’s what I’m fuming about today, so to speak. The smells we apply to ourself with more or less consideration and reasoning. And why this is a problem for the person applying them and the people subjected to the result.

Potpurri (borrowed from

Potpurri (photo borrowed from

Starting with the latter: The issue is multi-faceted, a combination of strength, mixture and closeness. Those that apply large and varied amounts of scents to their person have probably built up such a tolerance over a long period of time that to them they are merely mildly fragrant. For those caught down wind though, it’s like walking into a wall of “premium coconut and lime” mixed with unsubtle hints of “extra strong potpurri” with a dollop of “moroccan rose”. It can leave you reeling, for real!


The former though is where the suppliers of scented products are making it difficult for their customers. I consider myself to be very much baseline when it comes to adding smells to myself, applying only an underarm deo and a pomade to set my hair. Oh, and a shampoo to get the pomage out, and that also pretty much doubles as a body wash. Even at this minimalistic point though I run into problems, as the deo and pomade have entirely different smells, as does whatever smell of the shampoo that lingers on.  This means that I’m already at step one.

Add in the fact that I often mix two pomades (for an improved effect that I find hard to remember what was, as it’s not really that noticeable, but that’s beside the current point, ok?) that even though they are from the same supplier have totally different smells.

Tiki Bar

If you’ve ever been in a Tiki bar you can probably visualise the what their thrash can looks and smells like, right?

And it goes on from there. Many will add in an after-shave or cologne, apply some creams or lotions or even more products that I have no inkling what may do. And before you know it you’re smelling like the dumpster behind a Tiki-bar around Wednesday after a busy weekend. Only, you probably can’t smell it yourself as you’re so conditioned to your own reekiness. Or that maybe you just never get to stand down wind of yourself?

I wanted this to be a shelf full of male cosmetic stuff, so you need to use your imagination a little for this to work. Ok?

I wanted this photo to be of a shelf full of male cosmetic stuff, so you need to use your imagination a little for this to work. Ok?

I can see how an underarm deo might benefit from some scent, but am I alone in thinking it would be nice to be able to find stuff like pomade that is without scent and just does the job?

Second best would be if there someone that has a useful range of products that are scented the same? Oh, and make them as free of nasty ingredients as possible at the same time.

Any ideas for how to improve matters?


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