I realise I’m going out on a limb here, stating the unutterable, voicing the opinion that dare not be muttered, yet standing up for the freezing man in face of popular opinion. You just know I’m about to go off all half-cocked now, right?
So, knitted wool hats. What a load of crap! Apart from hiding your bad hair day, what have they ever given you? Why do you even wear a knitted hat? Because it makes you look cool? If you’re anything like me, you’ll wear a hat when it’s cold outside, and if it’s not cold you’ll let your noggin go commando. Wind in your hair, or breeze across your scalp as the case may be, and all the merrier for it.
Knitted wool technology is quite basic and functional. It provides space for air to sit still and insulate. Which is entirely fine, but the key word is “sit still”, as the moment the air starts moving the insulating properties go out the window. The same goes for woolly jumpers as well. You need a layer to stop the air moving about, in the form of an anorak or maybe a hood. Yet that pesky knitted wool hat has nowt of the sort.
Not that I mind the look of a nice woolly hat, I do like the look of knitted wool.There are near infinite variations in colours, geometric designs and styles of knitting, so there is something for everyone, be it a child in the playground, a teenage barista or a dad walking the dog. From a design perspective it’s spot on, giving off the heritage, artisan vibe in a big way. Especially if they are hand knitted, from proper wool, by your loved one or even someones granny. Much less so if they are machine-made in a low cost country from some dubious mix of wool-like fibres.
The question on my mind though is whether the traditional knitted wool hat can be fixed. Have the massive flaw removed. Made to work. Three possible solutions come to mind:
- Cover the outside with a windproof fabric. Might as well make it waterproof as well, while we’re at it. Maybe some waxed cotton? The immediate downside is that while that lovely still air will be protected, we have lost the “look” of the hat.
- Cover the inside with some warm and windproof fabric. The advantage here is that it will still look like a knitted hat, but it will be warmer. Of course, the knitted wool will basically be non-functional. The lining needs to be as flexible as the knit though.
- Use a very much more dense knit, or even use felting to keep the wind out. The denser knit will mean less air can be held though and felting again reduces the stretchiness of the end result.
- Dip the hat in a bucket of lard or whale blubber to toughen it up. This also has the advantage of making it more waterproof. The downside is that you will be asked, not so politely, not to engage in social events.
Maybe there is no way of fixing the knitted wool hat, though I do wonder if maybe the fisherman of old had some sort of trick? Or is there some other hat option that might be considered? I will confess that while cycling I wear a more mountaineering type of hat, basically windproof and almost uninsulated. This does a remarkable job, but looks beyond terrible. I do also have a machine knitted hat with a fleece lining, but this falls foul of the “one size” problem, where unless you have a tiny head it fits more like a kippah…
It’s 2016 and humanity has made huge advances in science, engineering and technology. Granted, we’ve also created reality-tv, food “products” and cartoon politicians, but still, all this cleverness has to amount to something, surely?
What do you suggest?
Another free photoshoot pro-tip: Always be fully focused when working with animals. I almost lost my arm to this rabid rabbit! Remember: It's not worth losing body parts, even if the resulting photo may gain extra likes (minor body parts for increased followers and comments are ok)! #styleno #protips #photoshoot #winter #menswear #wiwt #ootd #weldresseddad #dadstyle #gloverall